I feel relaxed, refreshed and happy. I have that silly smile that takes a while to disappear from my face.

My husband is napping.

About an hour ago, my husband and I found ourselves in our house in the middle of a Saturday afternoon with no kids and nowhere we had to be. Each child was at a friend’s house, and they didn’t need a ride home for hours.

I thought about my long, unending To-Do list. It was a beautiful summer day. I hadn’t exercised in a few days. I wanted to go for a bike ride. The house was a mess. I really should clean up. My husband was tired after getting up early, so he laid down to rest. When I asked him if he wanted company, he smiled. I wasn’t tired, and he knew it.

With so many things we SHOULD be doing, why did I decide to indulge in some afternoon delight?

1) Sex maintains our closeness and helps keep our marriage strong

Especially when we’re not exhausted, and we have time to enjoy each other — and not be rushed. I thought about a quickie, but this one lingered. We ignored the phones. It’s our time together to focus on each other and make each other happy.

2) It’s great exercise

I bike ride for exercise, but rarely get a chance to stretch and work on flexibility. This is my chance without going to yoga! And I can tell when we’re done, I definitely burned some calories.

3) It’s great stress relief

It’s one of the rare times I can turn off all the competing thoughts in my mind and relax and enjoy — without the aid of any unhealthy vices like alcohol.

4) It’s best to grab the opportunity before it slips away

We often joke during the day about meeting in our bedroom for a “date” after the kids go to sleep, but by the time we finish getting the kids into their beds, cleaning, finishing up emails, and catching up on our day, we end up falling asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

5) It’s been too long since the last time

It would be great to get intimate every day, but who has the time or energy unless you’re in the honeymoon period of marriage? If it’s been more than two to three days since we rolled around the sheets, it’s been too long. Today I thought about which I had done last — rode my bike or rode my husband. I took a bike ride two days ago; today was his turn.

6) Staring into each other’s eyes fills me with love

After more than 15 years together, I still love looking deep into his eyes and feeling that connection. When I do, I see the face of the young man I feel in love with. But that kind of moment doesn’t occur as we hustle and bustle through our busy lives. And it doesn’t happen in the dark of night. That’s why it’s important to infuse some daytime romping in your marriage!

How do you keep the flames burning in your marriage?

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