When you’re a working mom, having a great group of girlfriends can be essential for facing your struggles with courage and saving your sanity. But how do you get a core group of friends that really gets you?

I am sharing my interviews with a group of working moms who reveal their secrets about how they developed their tribe of girlfriends.

That was something I felt I missed out on when my kids were in elementary school. I was envious when I would hear about other moms enjoying girls’ night out. I got to know other moms at my kids’ school, but I never got close enough to them to cry on their shoulder when times were tough and never felt part of any of the mom cliques until many years later, after I had already suffered through career setbacks and financial struggles without a core group of close girlfriends to lean on. 

I did live near many of my good friends from high school, who were critical to me during the early years of motherhood and shared lots of advice about pregnancy and potty training and other challenges. But as our kids got older and busier, I didn’t see them much because they lived in other suburbs and their kids were involved in different activities than mine.

Like me, Jackie Hernandez felt isolated from the stay-at-home moms at her kids’ school, so she started making friends with women at her work. Eventually, those working moms she met on the job became her close friends and confidants.

Christina Caton Kitchel admitted she longs for deeper friendships, but she’s learned to ask for help from the stay-at-home moms she knows, and that has brought them closer together. 

Sarah Loulousis had her kids before many of her friends did, so she was worried about losing those friendships. Instead of skipping events with her childless friends, she decided to bring along her son, and now her friends dote on him like aunts and uncles. That willingness to be different has helped her maintain her important friendships during a hectic time in life.

Cassondra Pauling relies on her mate to watch their two daughters once a month, so she can go out for a fun-filled night of drinking and dancing and singing with her tribe of friends. She doesn’t feel guilty about leaving the kids home, because she knows she needs those nights with her friends to share mom war stories and cut loose and keep in touch despite their busy lives.

Mary Hicks maintains her friendships through social media and texting during those years of life when kids occupy her every weekend.

Heather LaCour makes sure to watch their toddler when her husband wants to go out with his friends, so he will do the same when it’s her turn for a girls’ night out.

And Nou Her recommends joining a mom group through your church; her core collection of friends pray together, study spiritual passages and encourage each other to stay strong and reach out when loneliness sets in.

I hope these tips will give you some ideas for finding and developing those essential friendships to get you through the tough times.

Do you have trouble joining a group of mom friends or forming your own?

What have you tried that has worked or not worked?

I wish years ago I knew some of the key suggestions from the moms I interviewed who found a way to develop and maintain a great group of friends.

For more tips and inspiration about how to find work life balance while juggling career and kids, subscribe to my Working Mom Warrior YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxg1_TTFJHgJhNh5ad2vnAA?sub_confirmation=1

My channel shares wisdom from many working moms, not just myself. I am a journalist who sets out every week to interview a new group of working moms from all different backgrounds to find out how they are coping with the challenges of nurturing their children and their own aspirations.

I’d love to ask the questions you want to hear answered by other working moms, so share your suggested topics in the comments.

— Diane Moca

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